I turned 40 a few weeks ago. It wasn’t my idea, and despite the protests and bribery things happened as scheduled. To be honest, I hadn’t set any specific goals for this decade beyond “be happy,” and I feel it’s too soon to report on how that is going. I realize I should be grateful for the things I have accomplished up to this point. Not many people can say they have scratched so much from their bucket lists.
I have written books, and have seen them published. I have seen at least one ex-Beatle in concert. I have traveled outside the country (the Caribbean counts), and I have the best daughter in the world. I live within walking distance of the beach and my parents are still alive and kicking. This is definitely more than what most people have.
I should be happy. Har.
All kidding aside, I do feel more content than I have in the past, and I have set more goals for myself in this new decade. Some of them involve my latest mystery offering, Dead Barchetta, which is a kicky, hilarious novel about a case of mistaken identity and paranoia set against a classic rock backdrop and New York City, one of my favorite places. The title is a play on words from a Rush song, but you don’t have to know the band to enjoy the book. You don’t have to even like them, but I believe if you enjoy snappy dialogue and characters, and humor a la Lebowski, you should give this one a try. It’s under a dollar in Kindle format and at best takes a few hours from your life. Would you rather laugh intentionally for a few hours while reading my book or spend that time gaping in horror at Snooki’s antics on MTV? Your time is precious, and I promise I won’t waste it.
Anyway, getting back to this wonderful new decade of awesomesauce that is my life. I have new goals, mostly reasonable ones. I don’t feel that I aim low, but rather I am using this time to consider what makes me happy and what I can do to keep up the good mojo. So far I have:
1) Lose the fat. This is my biggest challenge, because I love food. I do more than love food, I am deeply involved in an angsty soap opera relationship with food. Food is my Heathcliff – I want to throw things at it and deny my passions, but ultimately I know I’m going to succumb to its charms and sweet/salty goodness. So this decade will be spent in relationship counseling with food and working toward a healthier way of enjoying it.
2) Wear goofy t-shirts. My job doesn’t require me to dress professionally, thank goodness for that. Mind you, I am a professional, and I don’t mean a professional goof-off. I feel as this is probably the last decade where I can still enjoy moments of immaturity without looking pathetic, so I should take advantage. So I am daily checking the cheap tee sites for the appropriate Harry Potter/Big Lebowski/Sesame Street mashups that will turn heads.
3) Write more. Every time I complete a large project it takes months to get back into the groove. I have so many projects open it isn’t funny. This decade the goal is to sit down, shut up, and write more.
4) Less Gordon Liddy, More Geddy Lee. That was my six-word New Year’s resolution from a few years back. Still applies.
Anyway, you don’t have to wait ten years to find out how I did. I’ll still be hanging around here, thinking up “goofy sh*t” as George Carlin did. Somebody needs to pick up the slack.